


Not Yet Tomorrow

by AlexOblivion



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, First Dates, Friendship, Ilos, No pre Ilos hook up, Pre-Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:04:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3377450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexOblivion/pseuds/AlexOblivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Garrus thinks he has Shepard figured out, she surprises him. She surprised him when she didn't hook up with Liara or Kaidan before Ilos and came down to the cargo bay to have drinks with him instead. She surprised him when she wasn't dead and showed up at his hideout on Omega to save his ass. He figures, she'll probably keep surprising him if he sticks around her, and he has no intention of being anywhere else. </p><p>A series of one-shots from Garrus's point of view showing different moments of his and Shepard's burgeoning relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pre-Ilos

**Author's Note:**

> Aaand here it is, another short fic. This one continues on in this slowly diverging storyline I'm building. Anyways, we're leading up to some actually romance, so if you're interested keep reading! Thanks everyone!

“Is this seat taken?” He would know that voice anywhere. In fact, he did know that voice anywhere. Across the battlefield, harping on him over their comms when he missed an easy headshot, sleepily searching for coffee in the mornings... hell, he was pretty sure Shepard’s voice even showed up in his dreams sometimes. 

But best not to think of those dreams right now. Garrus dug his heels into the deck floor and pulled, rolling himself out from under the Mako on his flat-cart. Shepard was standing a few feet away looking down at him. She was holding two bottles in her hands and she looked exhausted. 

“Step into my office,” Garrus said. She cracked half a smile – more than he had expected, actually – and scooted one of the crates the replacement Mako parts came in closer to him so she could sit. Then she held out one of the bottles. Garrus took it, read the label, and raised his brow plates. 

“Shepard... this is expensive stuff. Where’d you get it?” He asked. He wanted to add “and how did you know?” but he was still a little unsure around his human commander. 

“The Citadel, last time we were there,” she said, shrugging like it was no big deal that she had gone out of her way to buy booze that he would like. 

“Well, thanks,” he said. He popped the top off and took a swig. The alcohol was a familiar burn in his throat and it was nice. They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping their respective drinks and staring out over the cargo bay. Garrus badly wanted to ask Shepard what she was doing down here, when all bets had pointed to her spending the evening in her quarters with either Liara or Kaidan. The crew was divided as to which she would end up with, but Garrus’s money was on Liara. Kaidan was just too… Kaidan. Too reserved, too upright, with too many expectations and too little understanding of the woman he was supposedly interested in. Kaidan always seemed like he was ready to settle down and have a family in a nice little house on a beach somewhere, and Garrus knew that just wasn’t Shepard. Liara at least would accept Shepard the way she was. Garrus would too, but nobody was asking him. 

The question just kept circling his head though, and Garrus was too talkative for his own good sometimes. Or maybe Shepard just made him nervous. Either way, the words were suddenly exiting his face and he had no idea why it was happening or how to stop them. 

“So why did you come down here?” He asked, then hedged quickly. “Not that I don’t like the company, I do, but we all thought you’d be-” she was staring at him now though, her eyebrows raised, the scar that cut through one of them pulling taut across her skin. He had always meant to ask her about that. 

“You all thought what?” Shepard asked, voice taking on that icy edge she so often employed on mercs and never used on Garrus. 

Garrus backpedaled but there was no saving this conversation. So he sighed and forged ahead. Shepard kept telling him that they were friends, and didn't friends talk about things like this? Maybe they didn't? Or maybe they only talked to other humans about certain subjects... Humans. They were an odd bunch. 

"We all thought you'd be in your own quarters," he said. There, that was diplomatic. 

As usual, Shepard saw right through him and snorted. "You thought I'd be with Kaidan," she accused.

"Or Liara," he said. Her eyes widened slightly. 

"That obvious, huh? Damn, I was hoping no one had noticed. Last thing I need is rumours that I'm involved in a love triangle." 

His translator must be mail functioning, because surely she hadn't meant "-a love triangle? Both of them?" He stuttered. 

Shepard just about spit out her beer. She chuckled for a good long minute, gesturing helplessly as if trying to explain herself. Finally she managed to calm down and inhale. "No, neither of them. A love triangle is when two people are interested in the same person and the person they're interested in won't decide between them. I'm not interested in having a three-way with those two," she explained. Garrus's brain caught on the last part. It was an interesting emphasis on "those two" that held his attention, his mind racing with the implied possibilities. 

"So why are you down here? He asked again. It still didn't make sense. She could be in the mess with her crew or at the galaxy map plotting or discussing tactics with Joker... But she was here. 

Shepard sighed. "This might surprise you Vakarian, but you are my best friend," she said. 

To his surprise that stung a little. He cared about her, more than he ever cared about anyone else besides his family and she considered him a friend. But then again, he hadn't exactly made his interests known. Even though Shepard didn't seem to care if a person were alien or not, he had always thought that he was a little... Too alien. Their physiologies were a bit different to say the least. He had also never wanted to be one of the lineup of people wanting Commander Shepard either. And yet, here she was. 

"Well I'm honoured, Commander," he teased. She nudged him with a toe. From where he was seated still on his flatcart, she was taller than him. The one time he'd have to look up at Shepard. 

"I think my best friend can call me Jane, don't you?" She asked. 

He didn't think he could. The Commander was such a construct in his head that calling her Jane almost seemed...blasphemous. Like it was too small for her. 

He didn't say a thing though and they fell back into their easy silence. That was one of his favorite things about her. Even when they weren't speaking it was still comfortable. But she was fidgeting and there was something on her mind. Tali and Liara said they found Shepard difficult to read, too good at hiding her emotions. Garrus had never had that issue. 

"What is it?" He asked. She glanced over at him, surprised but he waited her out. 

"We'll keep in touch, right?" She asked. His translator took a second but when it came back with a definition he was floored. Commander Shepard, his Commander, was vulnerable. If that didn't just beat all. 

"I'll be like krogan testicle fungus, Shepard. You won't be able to scrape me off," he said. That got the sought for laugh out of her. She nudged him with her foot again. 

"Thanks," she said, and her voice was lower than usual and her bright green eyes were shinier than usual. He knew her backstory, of course, everyone did. He knew she grew up on the streets of flooded New York and had no family. Maybe people didn't stick around in her life long. Maybe this meant more to her than he had thought. 

And then suddenly his disobedient face was spewing words again and he was powerless to stop it. "If it would make you feel better, let's go out for dinner when we get back from Ilos," he said. 

She stared at him so long he thought his heart was going to stop. "I'd like that," she said. She stood up. Her beer was empty, he saw, though he had barely touched his. She stood there for a moment, affording him a great view of Shepard from below, immensely tall and indomitable from this angle. Then she started walking past him towards the elevator, pausing to run a hand over his shoulder. 

"And thank you. Really," she said. She sauntered off to the lift and damned if he could keep from turning to watch her go. She got in the elevator and hit the button, and the last thing he saw of her before the doors closed was her trademark lopsided grin as she called, "Better not die tomorrow Vakarian. You owe me a date now." 

And he knew then that he was doomed.


	2. The Space Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus's POV from Shepard's death to her resurrection. Lots of Angst.

"Better not die tomorrow Vakarian," she had said. It wasn't the last thing she said to him, not by a long shot. But it was the thing that stood out. Better not die tomorrow. And then she went and did this. 

He was standing at her funeral dressed in uncomfortable black civvies - strange human custom, black clothes at a funeral. Shepard had never been able to explain that one well enough. She had just shrugged her weird one shoulder shrug and grinned. "Humans are weird, Garrus, what do you want me to say?And he was holding flowers. That one he understood; it was something beautiful for the dead to take with them. But Shepard wasn't really here, was she? She couldn't really take anything with her, not with her body already burned up in the atmosphere over Alchera. 

The rest of the crew was there. Shepard had saved them all before she died. Joker was pretty torn up over it, and a little spiteful part of Garrus was glad. Then he sighed and reminded himself of what she had said one night on one of her late visits to the cargo bay. "You'd do the same damn thing, Vakarian." Wasn't her fault, wasn't Joker's fault, wasn't anyone's except that alien ship that had cut Normandy to pieces. 

But someone was talking to him. "Hmm?" He rumbled, hoping it wasn't another turian. There was more sadness in his sub harmonies than was appropriate for a commander, even a friendly one. 

He looked up. Kaidan. He sighed again. "Lieutenant," he said, not bothering to force out respectful sub tones. Kaidan was never that observant, and it was fair to say the human was wrecked over Shepard. 

"I was there, Garrus. I should have saved her," Alenko said. Garrus would have rolled his eyes - another gesture he picked up from her - but it would have been blatantly derisive. 

"You couldn't have," he said instead. It was true. He had seen the vids of the accident, all the footage Normandy had transmitted out before it's cameras went offline, and there was nothing anyone could have done. Shepard had to be the big damn hero, and now she was dead. 

Kaidan just gulped and nodded, trying to get a hold of himself. He wasn't the only one. Tali's suit was working overtime trying to vent her tears away. Joker wouldn't look anyone in the eyes. Wrex was quietly drinking - Garrus had half a mind to join him, but figured he could make it through the service first - and Anderson cracked within the first two sentences of his eulogy. The only one who wasn't distraught was Liara. And wasn't that interesting, Garrus thought, a vestige of his detective training kicking in. The asari had been in love with the commander, why wasn't she as morose as Kaidan? 

"What are you going to do after this?" Kaidan asked, pulling Garrus's mind away from Liara. 

"Get drunk," he said. 

Kaidan cracked a tiny facsimile of a smile. "No, I mean in general. Jane said you were thinking of reapplying to the Spectre program?" 

Two things. One, Kaidan was allowed to call her Jane? He had only been given that privilege after months of working with her. Two, she had told him about Garrus's Spectre plans? Maybe she and the lieutenant were closer than he had thought. Garrus realized that the thought made him absurdly jealous. She had said that he, Garrus, was her best friend, after all. And that she didn't have feelings for Alenko. Why did he get to call her Jane then? Or maybe now that she was gone Alenko felt that he could... Garrus refocused, yet again. 

"No, I don't think so," he said. He hadn't actually thought about it but now that he said the words aloud he realized they were true. He didn't want to be a Spectre. Not without her. He supposed he had had some thought of mentoring under her and then working together... But it didn't really matter now. 

"What about you?" He asked, eager to shift the focus away from the crater Shepard had left in his life. 

"Same thing as always, I guess," Alenko said. The two men fell into silence. Eventually Kaidan muttered something about flowers and walked away. Garrus watched him toss his roses into the empty casket that should have held Shepard. Well, should never have held Shepard, if he had his way, but even that would have been better than this empty box. 

Garrus moved up to stand next to the casket and then couldn't bring himself to drop the flowers. They were flowers from Palaven, grown in a hothouse on the Citadel. They were wilting already. She had mentioned seeing his home world once, and this was the best he could do. 

Garrus wasn't sure how long he stood there but the next thing he knew there was a throat being cleared by his elbow and when he looked around the room was empty but for him and Liara. 

"How are you? She asked, and she was the first person who he felt might actually mean it. 

"Shitty. You?" He asked. It occurred to him again that she was not nearly as upset as he had expected. He had seen her after Benezia. She had been a mess, and from what he could tell she had loved Shepard too. 

"I've been better," she said. He couldn't help the little smile that broke through his misery. That was a Shepard-ism if ever he had heard one. Liara's small grin said that that was the point. 

They were quiet for a minute, then Liara opened her mouth, face screwed up like she wanted to say something. She didn't though, and again Garrus's detective training pinged. He had seen that look on many a snitch before they gave up the goods. He waited. 

"It'll be okay," she said finally. A diversion. Garrus was a good detective, one of the best. That hadn't been what she wanted to say, but she had settled for it. Why? 

"Liara..." He let it hang there. Now she knew he knew. Liara was good in a firefight, excellent in a jam, even better with history. But she was not good at deception. Never had been. Not when it meant lying to a friend. 

"Garrus I... I know how much you cared about her. I... She... It'll be okay," she said. She was staring at him with the sort of intensity said snitches had when they were trying to say something without saying it. But for the life of him Garrus could not decipher it. She would be okay? She was dead. She couldn't be okay. Unless... 

"What do you mean, Liara?" He asked. 

She shifted on her feet and wouldn't look at him. She had done something she wasn't proud of. "I can't... I'm sorry, Garrus," she said, looking up at him. He wanted to press her further, every instinct was demanding he force the information out of her, but he didn't. 

"It'll be okay," she said again. She put her hand on his shoulder and then she left. Garrus stood by her casket again, alone at last. After a couple minutes he cleared his throat.

"Hey She-Jane. You wanted me to call you Jane. I -uh... Well I'm mad at you. You weren't supposed to die. Not like that. Not without me there to at least try to save you... And now you're gone. I'm going to miss you. I do miss you." He paused. He couldn't think through the haze of disbelief and hurt. He dropped his flowers into the casket. 

"I... We could have... I'm going to miss you, Jane," he said. Whatever it was on the tip of his tongue he couldn't bring himself to say it. He stood by her casket for a moment longer and then he too left. The casket stood alone in the middle of the hall, full of flowers. 

Over two years later, Liara's words were repeating on a loop in Garrus's brain as a lithe armored figure used Shepard's moves to duck and weave across the bridge to his base. But it couldn't be, it just couldn't. It was some merc in armor like hers and he was tired. Garrus fired at the figure, missing by just a hair. He must be more tired than he thought. The figure turned and shot several mercs who were daring enough to tiptoe onto the bridge. So maybe a friend, then? He had thought all his friends were dead around him. The mystery merc had a team of two with her; a couple more humans in black and yellow. His visor id'd them as Cerberus. Maybe not friends. The organization had contacted him after her death but he had never responded. Damned if he would ever work for them. The team of them were making good time across the bridge though and they were systematically slaughtering anyone who got in their way, which he could respect. After all, that had kind of been his MO for the last couple years. 

So he let them come in. When the three of them scrambled up his stairs and the woman with the long hair announced that they were there to find him, he held up a finger with as much exhausted arrogance as he could muster and shot another Blue Sun. Then he turned. 

His heart stopped. He was sure of it. That or someone had killed him a while ago and he hadn't noticed until now. He blinked and dug his rifle butt into his thigh until it hurt and it was still her. 

"Jane?" He breathed it. She heard him. 

"Do I know you?" She asked. What? Oh, for Spirits' sake. He still had his helmet on. He clicked the releases on his helmet and tilted his head until it slid off and clunked to the ground. 

Her face did that thing Shepard's face always did when she was surprised. Her nose wrinkled and her eyebrows lifted and she frowned at him because surprises were surprising, damn it and that could mean dangerous and it was so quintessentially Shepard that he believed it. He set his rifle down and strode across the room to her. She wasn't waiting for him. She sprinted towards him as fast as she could and they met halfway, colliding in an ugly crush of armor and limbs. Her arms were around his neck though and he had lifted her so he could press his face to her skin and she was there. She was there. Shepard must have realized he wasn't putting her down anytime soon because she wrapped her legs around his hips and held on. He was running his talons through her hair and whispering "Jane, Jane I missed you. I missed you." Over and over into the joint of her neck and shoulder. 

When one of her team finally cleared his throat loudly Garrus realized they had an audience and set her down. Shepard didn't seem in any hurry to go though. He pulled back to look at her, running his talons over new scars on her cheek that glowed like cybernetics. The scar that had sliced through one of her eyebrows was gone though. He ran his thumb over the place it used to be and she grinned her lopsided grin. 

"Got a bit of an update," she said. 

"But you were dead," he whispered. Not exactly a stunning first line. 

Her grin widened and she patted his cheek. "I couldn't stay dead, Vakarian, not when you owed me that date." 

And he knew again that he was doomed. But maybe, just maybe, so was she.


	3. Operation Shoreleave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shepard gets teary, Garrus gets worried, and Edi gets crafty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! You guys have made me turn this into a multi-chapter fic, which I'm alright with. The chapters aren't super-stand alone anymore, and the whole thing should be done in about 5 chapters or so. 
> 
> The one thing I can't decide is whether to up the rating and include smut. Thoughts?

The humans had an expression for the way he felt around Shepard now. Walking on eggshells, wasn’t it? The humans had an expression for everything. He wasn’t sure why a human would want to walk on eggshells, but that was besides the point. 

When he had been hit by that rocket back on Omega he was sure he was going to die, and the last thing he heard before he passed out was Jane screaming his name. He remembered briefly being alarmed by how frantic her voice sounded before the world went dark. 

Jacob told him afterwards that she hadn’t let go of him until he was back on the Normandy and Doctor Chakwas peeled Jane away so she could operate. Even then the Commander had paced outside the medical bay until Chakwas strode out and reassured her. Jacob had shaken his head at this, saying he had never seen anything like it. 

For Garrus’s part, as soon as he woke up almost a full night cycle later the first thing he thought of was Shepard. He made Chakwas release him from the medical bay, much to her upset, and went to find Jane. He finally located her in the briefing room - her new Normandy was confusing - and when he walked in she stopped speaking and her eyes trained on to him. She didn’t look away as she dismissed Jacob and she didn’t look away as he made some joke he couldn’t remember. Something about krogan women liking scars. 

Her lips quirked up and it had broken the spell. Shepard crossed the room quickly and stopped so close to him that he could feel her breath on his scarred cheek. She started inspecting the injured side of his head, batting his hands away when he tried to stop her. She ignored his protests of “I’m fine” and kept on going, running her fingers over the edges of the burned area and biting her lip when he grunted in pain if she hit a sore spot. 

After a moment he reached up and grasped her searching fingers, pulling them gently from his face. He missed her touch almost immediately. 

“Jane. I’m okay,” he said. He had thought it would be strange to call her Jane now that he was back under her command, but it wasn’t. He supposed he had been calling her Jane so long in his head while he thought she was dead that it was just second nature now. 

To his immense surprise her eyes welled up. Garrus had seen plenty of humans cry, and while he didn't understand the purpose of excreting water from your eyes when sad, he had thought he was immune to its effects. He hadn’t ever seen Jane cry though and it made him panic a little. 

“I thought you were a goner, Vakarian,” she whispered. Garrus tightened his grip on her fingers - he had forgotten to let them go - and tugged them until she let him rest their hands on his chest. 

“I’m still here,” he said. She had smiled a watery smile and nodded. 

And after that he had barely seen her. They had been going hard every day of the week since he had joined her, picking up first a tank-bred krogan, then a crazy human biotic and a salarian professor. So he could excuse her for not having time to visit him down in the main battery, even though calibrations left him with a little bit of time to think about things. A lot of time to think about things, actually, which wasn’t always good. In fact, he wasn’t sure where he stood with Shepard now, and every day that she didn’t come down to the battery - never mind that he could probably have gone to find her… - seemed like a confirmation that he had been imagining the whole damn thing. 

When it had been over a week since he had seen Shepard for more than ground missions Garrus decided to take matters into his own hands. He had never been one for sitting around and waiting for things to come to him, and this time was no different. Shepard had said that he still owed her that date, so by Spirits he was going to give it to her. 

He began researching. Apparently humans liked "dinner and a movie" but Shepard hated Blasto, and that was all that was playing at the Citadel right now - well that and some art films that he was pretty sure would kill Shepard a second time - so the movie part was out. Dinner though, dinner he could do. Shepard was organized enough that she let them know their next missions a few days in advance, and she had them scheduled for the Citadel in four days. Garrus had to shop around a bit, but eventually he found a dual-amino restaurant that didn't look too fancy. He and Shepard weren't fancy people. 

Which gave him an idea. 

"Edi, can you make sure I'm not available for the ground mission into the Citadel?" He asked. Jane had a habit of taking him on ground missions - which he much preferred, of course, couldn't trust anyone else to watch her back - but would ruin the surprise. Shepard hated surprises, which would make this fun. Garrus started looking for a different activity to do with Shepard after their dinner. 

"Certainly Officer Vakarian. May I recommend this outlet?" Edi responded and another window popped open on his screen. Garrus glanced through it and started to grin. 

"Perfect. Do you think you can get her there without suspicion?" 

"No. The Commander is suspicious of everything I do, being an AI. However, I know who can." Edit outlined her plan and Garrus was in awe. 

"That's perfect. Alright Edi, next time we dock at the Citadel Operation Shoreleave is a go." 

Edi's blue bobble head gave a distinctly human snort. "That's a stupid name."


	4. Date Night Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Garrus and Shepard meet up for their date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted the same chapter twice!! Sorry :( now you've had to wait extra long for this chapter. Tell you what, to make up for it I'll post the next part in a day or two instead of a week like usual. Anyways, things are ramping up between our Heroes now so enjoy!

Shepard heaved an obnoxiously loud, wheezing sigh into her helmet's comm and was rewarded with Tali's inimitable giggle. She grinned. 

"What's the matter Shepard? Missing your turian boyfriend?" Tali asked. She popped out of cover and unleashed her combat drone on a couple of Loki mechs. On Shepard's left Kasumi decloaked behind a crate, grinning. 

"Oh I don't know if they're dating yet," she said, "have you seen how awkward they are around each other?" 

Shepard groaned. She had hoped no one noticed that. The Illusive Man had forwarded her more dossiers after she picked up Mordin and she had spent the last two weeks hopping around the galaxy collecting her team. They were now invading the Dantius Towers on Illium for an assassin called Thane, who was also her last stop. So far, her team was impressive and she couldn't fault the Illusive Man's choices, but Garrus had been distinctly perturbed when she had had to change their schedule. He had brightened up considerably upon collecting Tali, but when he had heard they weren't going to the Citadel until the rest of the dossiers had been cleared he had just about glowered at her. Top that off with her newfound desire to diversify her ground teams and no, she and Garrus weren't exactly on smooth footing right now. 

"Don't worry Shep," Kasumi called from somewhere further afield, " this is our last pick up and then we have some shore leave. Maybe you could go out. Or stay in, I don't judge." 

Tali laughed. Then a bullet grazed her shield and her chuckle died until she severed the mech's legs out from under it. 

"Can we please focus on the mission?" Shepard asked. "Nobody gets shore leave if we're all dead." 

The ladies quieted and got back to business but Shepard was stuck on the date idea. It wasn't a bad idea at all, and she had mentioned a date to Garrus when she found him on Omega. He wasn't opposed to it. Not a bad idea at all. 

*

The assassin was an odd duck, Shepard thought, shaking her head as she left life support. But she had seen him move and he was damn good, so he could be as odd as he wanted. He was also her last dossier, and she had set course for the Citadel immediately afterwards. Time to take a break. Jane was all for pushing through and getting the mission done as quickly as possible, but she knew the value of team morale. Her team, while strong, could use some downtime. 

Jane made her way to the elevator and hit the button for her cabin. As usual, the first thing she did when she walked in was feed her fish. By some miracle the little buggers were still alive, though they required more maintenance than her bloody hamster, which seemed odd. Jane was convinced the only reason the fish were still around was because she fed them obsessively and perhaps too much, but there they were. Bright and shiny. Shepard stared at her fish for a moment before going to her personal terminal and beginning her search. 

"Edi! How goddamn hard is it to find a dual chirality restaurant?" Shepard bellowed an hour later. Edi's blue form popped up near the door. 

"I can compile a list, Commander," she offered. Shepard hadn't been able to stop herself from thinking of Edi as a lady. Everything about her was just so... Ladylike. 

"Please. And toss in anything you think Garrus might want to do," she said. A moment later her terminal beeped and the list popped up. 

"I took the liberty of highlighting activities Officer Vakarian might enjoy based on his behaviour patterns," Edi said. Shepard read through the list, stopping at one of the options Edi had highlighted. She started to grin. 

"Edi, can you book this one please? And don't tell Garrus. Let's make it a surprise," she said. 

"Done. You are expected at the launch facility at 18:00 tomorrow night," Edi said. 

"Perfect. That's all for now, thanks," Shepard said.

"Logging you out." Edi's blue head disappeared, giving Shepard a semblance of privacy. She leaned back in her seat, grinning like a self-satisfied Cheshire Cat. Garrus would never see this coming. 

*

Truth be told, this explained a lot, Shepard thought. She had walked into the Serpent Pod Racing launch complex about a minute ago and stopped short when she saw Garrus Vakarian waiting near the counter. He was wearing blue civvies, which looked odd, and was shifting from foot to foot like a six and a half foot bundle of nerves. He was also early, which by rights he shouldn’t have been. Unless he had planned to be here, which would mean that Edi had outmaneuvered Shepard. It was distinctly possible, but unpleasant to think about. 

So Shepard did what she did in any situation where the logic and outcomes weren’t clear: she stormed on through. She stomped up to Garrus, stopped about a foot away from him, and prodded his carapace with an accusing finger. 

“You and Edi planned this, didn’t you?” She asked. To her surprise he took her hand and twined his three fingers around her five. It was odd, but it was the kind of odd she could get used to. 

“Yes, we did. Did it work?” He asked. “Were you surprised?” 

Shepard was having a hard time thinking past his fingers - ungloved they were warm and a strange combination of firm muscle and thick plate - and his thumb brushing circles on the back of her hand. It was distracting and it was siphoning away her mock anger with every circle. 

“Yes,” she grumbled, “I hate surprises."

Garrus chuckled. “Well you won’t like this then.” He led her past the check-in counter, pausing to get her to press her fingerprint onto a release waiver, and pointed up at a glowing orange scoreboard. Their names were on it, along with a half dozen others. 

“We’re racing each other,” she surmised. She started to grin. Oh this was good. 

“Yup. You know all those times I told you I could drive the Mako better than you could? Now I’m going to prove it,” Garrus said. He was leading her through the launch complex and for the first time in years Shepard wasn’t tracking exits or looking for cover. For the first time in a long time Shepard could lose herself in someone else and trust that nothing was going to come popping out of the walls to get her. It was a nice feeling, being with Garrus. It was nice to trust someone like that. She couldn’t keep from smiling. 

“Oh really?” She asked. “Care to make a little bet?” 

Garrus raised his brow plates. He was just as competitive as she was - hence all their planetside headshot tallies - and she knew he did consider himself a good driver. No way he would pass up this opportunity. 

“Deal. What are the stakes?” He asked. 

Shepard hadn’t thought that far ahead. She was doing the opposite of normal and living in the moment, and it was liberating. “Hmmm. How about if I beat you, you have to buy the drinks at the bar after this. Oh and mod my Widow like yours." They both knew his calibrated and nodded version if the gun was better than hers. 

"Fine but if I win you have to start taking me on ground missions again," he said. That stopped her in her tracks. Had it been that long? She thought back and realized that yeah, it had. 

"No," she said. His shoulders slumped but he didn't say anything. Shepard tugged him around so he was facing her. She ran her palm down his mostly healed mandible. "Those aren't good stakes Vakarian because that's just me being an asshole. I didn't realize and I'm sorry." 

Garrus tilted his head so he could press the turian extent of a kiss to her hand. "It's alright. I just want to watch your back," he said. The warmth suffusing Shepard's hand where he was holding it spread through the rest of her and pooled low in her core. By the way his breath hitched a little and his pupils widened, she suspected he could tell. 

"How about if I win we skip the bar?" He said. His posture was tense and his thumb had stopped it's circles on her hand. She could tell that he had to fight for his voice to be that smooth. But there it was, the offer she had been waiting for, and while Garrus might think this was decision time for her the choice had been made long ago, back when she had decided to go to the cargo bay for drinks before Ilos. 

"Agreed," she said, and sauntered off towards the racer pods. Garrus took a moment to catch up, stunned as he was. 

"But I'm not going to take it easy on you Vakarian," she said. 

Garrus laughed. "You never do."


	5. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the rating goes up!

Garrus hitched Shepard's leg up over his jutting hip and ground into her, eliciting the single best sound he had ever heard from her lips. Shepard’s hands were busy, running along his carapace and hitting just the right spot under his fringe. She pressed her lips, all hot and soft and warm, to his mouth again and Garrus groaned. There was no way she should feel this good. It just wasn’t fair. Her breath was ragged though and when he pulled back from her for just a second her pupils were dilated, so he was having the same effect on her. 

But he wasn’t supposed to be. She had won their race - her turn around the CItadel’s base had been impressive, to say the least, and she wasn’t afraid of ramming other cars out of her way - so by rights they should be at the bar celebrating her victory. He should be thinking of mods for her sniper rifle. But as soon as they had gotten out of the race he had seen the joy on her face and the flush of victory on her skin and he couldn’t help but press her into one of the launch complex’s restrooms. Now here they were, his body covering hers against the wall. 

“Shepard. Jane,” he panted her name, trying to get her to stop whatever her five very nimble fingers were doing to the back of his head and listen to him for a moment. Finally he had to grab her hands and pin them to the wall beside her head to get her to listen, and by the way her breath hitched and she licked her lips, that might not have been the best idea. He was having a very difficult time focusing. 

“Whatever you're about to say better be damn good, Vakarian,” she growled, shifting her hips against his. Garrus growled and leaned in for another taste of her skin. 

“You won, Shepard,” he said. “We’re supposed to go to the bar now.” He let go of one of her hands and wrapped his fingers around her upper thigh under pretense of adjusting her leg on his hip. He slid his hand further up the underside of her thigh until his fingers were as close to her core as he could get without actually touching her. She whined and arched her back, and he had to update his list of best noises he had ever heard.

“Tell you what,” she said, licking the tip of his mandible and causing his brain to short circuit for a moment, “how about we compromise?” 

He slid his fingers further and just grazed the tips of his talons along the junction of her legs - purely in retaliation, of course. When she moaned he moved his fingers away. The moan turned into a frustrated huff. “I can compromise,” he said. 

Her hand had found its way into his pants and he didn’t even remember her reaching. She palmed as much of him as she could given the weird angle and his plates being not fully retracted and he was about ready to concede defeat. “How about we skip the bar and you mod my gun later? Best of both worlds,” she panted. 

Garrus shifted so she had to move her hand and as soon as she did he acted. He gripped her other leg and hoisted her, settling himself between her thighs and pressing her into the wall with as much force as he could without hurting her. Shepard ground her hips down onto him and he wondered how angry she would be if he just shredded her pants. And his. And anything else that might be in the way. 

“I don’t know Shepard, this sounds like a win-win for you,” he drawled. He nipped the skin just under her ear. It was a fucking marvel he was still able to think straight with the way her hips were undulating over his right now. Her fingers had returned to work on the base of his fringe and that shredding her clothes idea was looking more and more tempting. 

“So you don’t get anything out of it, Vakarian?” She asked. He hummed in mock thought. The way she shivered when she heard his dual-tones that close to her ear gave him an idea. Apparently she liked the voice.

“Tell me, Jane, what do I get out of it?” He asked, humming into her ear again. She shuddered. He shifted slightly so his tip was pressing into the heat he could feel emanating from her even through all this damn fabric and Jane leaned her head back onto the tile wall of the restroom. Her eyes were closed and her fingers were tight on his neck. 

Garrus thrust ever so gently and her eyes shot open. She gasped and rocked her hips, silently asking him for a repeat. Garrus almost couldn't handle it. If this was what Shepard was like with all her clothes on he couldn’t imagine how good it would feel otherwise. But he had started something and damn straight he was going to finish it. 

“I said, what do I get out of it?” He asked, thrusting again. 

Jane opened her eyes and there was something else in them, something other than the lust he had seen before. Her eyes darted between his and she bit her lip before she answered. “Me. You get me,” she whispered it like it wasn’t enough. Garrus pressed his mouth to hers, tangling their tongues. He ran his fingers up her sides and into all that red hair. 

“That’s all I want,” he said. She tightened her hold on him but this time it wasn’t just about sex. It was a reminder than they were both there and together and that that was good enough. A moment later they pulled apart and Garrus set her on her feet. 

“Back to the Normandy, then?” He asked, and he hoped his voice didn’t come across as pleading as he felt. 

Apparently though the feeling was mutual. “Oh fuck yes,” she said. “Gotta be honest, I’m probably going to jump you in the elevator.” She patted down her hair and straightened her clothes. Her skin was flushed and this time because of him. It was probably one of the hottest sights he had seen. He opened the door for her when she was ready. 

“I see nothing wrong with this plan,” he said.


	6. Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it! Thanks everyone so much for reading, you all inspired me to take this from a one shot to a short series. I know it's not super continuous and it's canon-divergent for sure, but I've really enjoyed writing it and I hope you all have enjoyed reading it. 
> 
> Thanks so much!

They barely made it back to the ship, let alone to Shepard’s cabin. The walk from the launch complex to the rapid transit was torture, in Garrus’s opinion, and apparently Shepard agreed because the second they were in the skycar and they had punched in the Normandy’s dock number her hands were on him. There wasn’t much room to maneuver in a skycar, but somehow Shepard managed to straddle him and he managed to shift so she could sink deeper on to him. Her hands set to work on the catches over his cowl and despite it being a bad idea - how would they get to the ship if they were both naked? - he let her. He found his own fingers pushing up her shirt so he could feel her skin and he let that happen too, if only to keep her making that noise. 

Human clothes were flimsy and slippery and could slide right off, he found a moment later, when her shirt was on the seat next to him and his fingers were running up and down her skin. Jane was still working on the catches to his clothes, her fingers unfamiliar with turian design. She kept at it, though, her mouth finding all the soft spots along his neck until she huffed with frustration and leaned away from him. 

“Your clothes are ridiculous, Vakarian,” she said. He could see the glimmer of amusement in her eyes so he grinned at her. 

“You know turians, Shepard,” he said, “If you’re going to do something, make it impossible to undo.” 

She huffed again but this time it was laughter. Now that they had a bit of breathing room, he had a chance to look at her - really look at her. He still didn’t have a human fetish - what was with hair, first of all? And what was the point in having such thin skin? - but his lack of physical interest in most humans was overshadowed by all of his feelings for her. Shepard wasn’t some human, she was Shepard and when he looked at her he didn’t see the fact that her fingernails were useless as claws or that without a cowl her neck was very exposed. He saw the way she looked at him and the tilt of her head and the funny one-shouldered shrug she did when she was nervous. He saw how all of the pain and pressure of her job hadn’t bowed her, just left her very strong. And most of all it was overshadowed by just how much he cared about her. 

“You’re thinking deep, Garrus,” she whispered, tracing her fingers down his cheek. “Something bothering you?” Her tone was light but there in the corners of her eyes he could see how vulnerable asking that made her. The fact that she asked it all spoke volumes. She wanted him to be comfortable and she wasn’t sure that he was. 

“Just savoring the moment,” he answered. A bit of the tension seeped out of her. 

“You sure? We can stop if you… if you want,” she said. He suspected she had been about to say something else, but he couldn’t fathom what she thought he might want more than her. 

“Never,” he said. He pulled her in towards him and leaned his forehead against hers. “Never,” he repeated. He let her go and gestured at the complicated looking contraption that covered her chest. 

“Mostly I was trying to figure out how to take that off without fumbling like a teenager,” he quipped, and was rewarded by her laugh. She kissed him and then to his absolute dismay reached for her shirt. He must have looked disappointed because she leaned in and kissed him again. 

“We’re here,” she whispered. 

She was right and he hadn’t noticed. The rapid transit swooped down and parked in the docking bay and there was the Normandy, looking shiny and wrong in Cerberus colors. Shepard slipped her shirt back on and reluctantly got off him. She opened the car door and he followed her out, taking a deep breath. He was suddenly nervous and after everything that had happened he wasn’t sure why. Surely this should be easy, shouldn’t it? But nothing with Jane Shepard was ever easy. It was always worth doing, but it was never easy. 

The walk through the ship was surprisingly awkward, and Garrus was left feeling more and more like the complex restroom was a dream. By the time they reached the elevator he wasn’t at all sure of himself anymore, and by the way Shepard was fidgeting neither was she. Her hand hesitated over the screen to punch in which floor she wanted. Garrus watched her chew her lip and decided to throw caution to the winds. Everything worked better with her when neither of them had time to think about it, so if he was right… 

He crossed the elevator in about a step and a half, inserting himself neatly between her and the control board. With one hand he hit the button for her cabin and with the other he gripped Jane’s waist and pulled her into him. She was on him in a split second. This time her fingers knew where to find the clasps on his clothes and as soon as she had one figured out it became clear there was no stopping her. Her mouth met his again and again between breathless gasps. Garrus had to pull away from her for a second to get her shirt off but he dipped right back to her once it was in a heap on the floor. His fingers stalled on her bra and not for the first time this evening he wondered how angry she would be if he just shredded it. She sensed his hesitation and unclasped it herself, letting it fall to the floor. 

There was a slight pause as Shepard hesitated and Garrus took her in. She was flushed and her heart rate was audible, at least to him. The idea that her reaction was because of him was incredible. He hummed in appreciation and she shivered, which he took as an invitation to pull her close again. He set to kissing down her neck, punctuating his movements with hums that made her gasp. His hands ran up her sides and his thumbs brushed under her breasts - he had had two years of thinking she was dead to watch vids and try to remember her, he was pretty familiar with human anatomy by now - and she let out a soft “oh!” that sounded like he was doing something right. 

She managed to get his tunic undone though, so apparently he hadn’t quite distracted her. She pushed it off his shoulders and he let go of her to let it slide off. Her hands ghosted over his shoulders, palms flat on his skin. He couldn’t quite read the look in her eyes, but when she leaned forward and planted a row of kisses across his hide he surmised it was probably good. 

Then the elevator door dinged. They froze. The door slid open onto the little hall outside of her cabin. Garrus looked at her and Shepard tossed him a lopsided grin, the same little smile she had passed him that night before Ilos and again after he had survived a rocket to the face. The little grin she never smiled at anyone else, just him. She kicked their discarded clothes out of the elevator into the hall and then took his hand and led him to her cabin. 

 

It was by parts confusing, frustrating, and easy. Their bodies didn’t fit together the way they were each used to and there was more contortion required than expected, but they worked it out. They quickly found that they both enjoyed her perched on top of him, knees tight on his waist. He could see all of her and reach all of her and when she finally sank down onto him it was equal parts the best thing he had ever seen and the best thing he had ever felt. Shepard tossed her head back and moaned and Garrus just had to sit up so he could press his mouth to her skin and wrap his arms around her. Shepard’s fingers dug into the soft spots under his fringe so Garrus growled into her skin. She shook. When he wrapped his hands around her upper thighs and lifted her, they both gasped, and when she plunged back down on him, they both moaned. 

Shepard braced her hands on his carapace after that and picked up the pace until they were both gasping. Garrus reached up and slid his fingers over her nipples, plucking at them like he had seen in the vids. Shepard groaned, her eyes clenched shut, and her movements stuttered. Garrus took the opportunity to scoop her up and roll them, careful as always that her skin wasn’t so resilient as his. He deposited her carefully on her back and thrust into her her hard enough that her eyes shot open and she gasped. He worried for about a second that it had been too much and then her hands grasped his hips and urged him on again. He set a punishing pace and she responded in kind, rolling her hips into his and arching her back. Her hands reached alternately for the sensitive places above his waist and under his fringe, which would later make him suspect that she took had done some research. But right now he wasn’t thinking of anything except how to make her come undone around him, because he was getting close and there was no way he was going without her. 

Then he remembered something they did in basically every vid he had seen. He reached down between them and searched around with a finger until his fingertip rubbed over a small nub that had Shepard arching her back and her walls fluttering around him. He drew circles over that spot until Shepard’s eyes closed again and she clenched over him and her long body shook its release. Garrus followed her nearly immediately, his talons digging into her hip. 

They took a long moment to come down from the high and then Garrus lowered himself to lay beside her. Shepard rolled onto her side so she was facing him. She caught one of his hands in hers and started fiddling with his fingers. She was smiling a new type of smile, a small, satisfied smile that he wanted to see more of. 

“How did you know where to…?” Her cheeks reddened and she gestured at herself. 

Garrus was glad turians didn’t really blush. “Uh… well, I had two years to… the extranet is a big place… Yeah.” 

She laughed until she had to wipe her eyes. He wished he still had his visor on so he could take a picture of the view in front of him: Jane Shepard, relaxed, naked, and happy. It was quite the sight. 

“I love you, you know,” he blurted. Not for the first time he cursed his traitorous face. It was always taking off on him, saying things he should probably think about first. But it was out there and she had stopped smiling. Her eyes were flicking between his now and he was crippled by an intense fear that he had just ruined the best thing in his life. 

But then she leaned over and kissed him softly and leaned her forehead into his. “I know. I love you too, you know,” she said. 

And he couldn’t say why, but looking at her right then he did know. It wasn’t written on her face or etched into the lines of her body but it was there and he knew it, just like he knew that it wouldn’t matter how many times she came back from the dead and asked him to follow her he would. Just like he knew he would be mad every time she didn’t take him on a ground mission and just like he knew there was no Shepard without Vakarian. 

“I know,” he said.


End file.
